Self-esteem and confidence have always been a struggle for me. I was the quintessential funny fat girl all my life. Still am. I was always okay with settling for that but over the last year, as my life has changed drastically, I have yearned for more. More love, more respect, more sincerity... more out of life.
So, while I'm thinking about that two song lyrics pop into my head. "If you're gonna start somewhere why not here? If you're gonna start sometime why not now?" and "Unapologetically... I wanna leave a legacy..." and here I am, sitting on this computer typing away unexpectedly.
I think it might do me some good to make a list of why I should love myself. A list of my positive attributes, my favorite things about myself and what makes me an awesome chick-a-dee.
1. I want to grow and learn, always.
2. I take interest in what the people I care about are interested in.
3. I'm a good mommy. I've got this beautiful, healthy, brilliant daughter that rarely gets in trouble, brings home excellent grades, loves and trusts with all of her heart and has more wisdom than many adults do. I must have done *something* right in my years of parenting her.
4. God loves me, duh. That should be reason enough to love me.
5. I admit when I was wrong about something, apologize when I've wronged someone and am open about my flaws. Transparency deserves respect!
That list really should be longer, ya know? Maybe in time it will grow.
What I do know is that it's enough for me to stop the cycle of self-sabotage and settling now and start living more courageously and loving myself.
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