I was halfway through writing a completely different post this afternoon about self-love and well, it's been tabled. Just couldn't complete it. Hey, it's Transparent Tuesday, right?! Might as well go with being real, huh? Real for me today is low, feeling like a complete idiot, a downright mess. So, that's what you're getting.
Fortunately, in some of my research for this post I found some "light at the end of the tunnel" stuffs so maybe I'll feel better and learn as I write. ;)
From Psychology Today: "Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating in the face of weight concerns, and self-injury such as cutting. These acts may seem helpful in the moment, but ultimately undermine us, especially when we engage in them repeatedly."
Basically, in so many words, you can be your own worst enemy. Yes, yes I can.
From Psych Alive: "The critical inner voice doesn’t represent a positive sense of self that you can entrust in. Rather, it epitomizes a cruel “anti-self,” a part inside us that is turned against us. It casts doubt on our abilities, undermines our desires, and convinces us to be paranoid and suspicious toward ourselves and those close to us. This anti-self fills our mind with critical self-analysis and self-sabotaging thoughts that lead us to hold back or steer away from our true goals."
Boom. Wow.
Yeah, but how do you from understanding and knowing that to stopping it? That's kind of where I have been stuck at for quite some time. Okay, I see this happening, I see the patterns forming but what do I do? So, here's some of the ideas I'm gathering (and I hope that they will help you if you are stuck in this rut also, and I do ask for prayers as I start trying to work these out).
1. Identify Triggers. Retrace steps, find the root of the very first negative thought. You can't solve a problem without getting to the very deep beginning core of it.
2. Swap It Out. Decide on a positive thought you can immediately counter-act any doubts with.
3. Partner Up. Pick a person that you trust not to judge you or condemn you when you have moments of weakness or slip ups but will instead gently remind you of what you SHOULD be thinking about.
4. Stay Focused. Idle minds, ya know. ;)
5. Don't Throw The Baby Out With The Bathwater. Don't throw it all away over a mistake or two. Clean the situation up, pull the weeds, strain the water, but do NOT give up.
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