Who Are We?

NEW.

Beautiful new creations.

Whenever we begin to feel like our old habits are creeping back up on us, negative or self-destructive thoughts are coming against us, we need to remember we are NEW. Ask Him to show us how far the east is from the west. How far we've come, how new we are, how different we are. 

I'm so excited looking back, getting ready to celebrate a roller-coaster ride of a year- one year of sobriety, y'all! It's going to be a GREAT weekend, one I can't wait to share about on Monday. 

Here's a little video I made back at New Year's.

Where've I Been? Wednesday. Hahaha.

Took a couple days off from posting. I don't EVER want to post random filler if I don't have something important I want to share or say. Just putting that out there. It wastes both my time and yours. Not saying that I haven't really had anything going on or nothing to say, just want to remind my readers that I'm not going to let this blog become a boring routine because that goes against my mission statement.
Today I'm just going to go over some personal-ish stuff in hopes that it will touch or bring some understanding to at least one person who reads it.


Remember that first date I went on a week and a half ago? Yeah...
<3 Fell in love fast. It's okay, though. We've both done this relationship thing according to the rules, the societal norms before and didn't get it right. We're on God's timing now. It's unbelievably amazing and feels so right. We laugh about how crazy it must look from the outside but with God's design for our lives leading us, we are fine with jumping on in and not wasting each other's time. In exactly two weeks this afternoon, we've spent nearly 21 hours talking on the phone (this does not include the 550+ texts and insane amount of facebook messaging done in the first few days), and more than 40 hours spending time together and getting to know each other. TELL ME, how many couples spend their first few weeks that involved in getting to know the other? We've covered every topic from favorite music/movies to having more children. From favorite foods to what we desire from a spouse. From bad habits/hangups to what we want to spend the rest of our lives doing. It's mind blowing.

The best thing about it is that we have discovered quickly by laying everything on the line like that- we are definitely compatible. Beyond compatible to that "magic-aha-moment" thing you don't even see in movies anymore. Even crazier is that for a little while, we were right under each other's noses and never saw each other or met. Ya know why? It wasn't time. We weren't ready for each other until now. What a mighty God we serve that weaves these pieces of our lives together just right! We were going through seasons in our lives that were preparing us to really appreciate each other. We had to get our focus on Him and really want His will not ours. I could go on and on cuz, ya know, I'm just so happy right now, no scratch happy- I feel so much JOY right now!

In other news... I had a bad enough panic attack at church Sunday that I had to run out again. Immediately I began to beat myself up about it as usual. "They all think I'm a flake.", "I'm never going to be able to get and stay involved.", "Everyone is going to doubt my faith." and I just had to stop myself. It was a MOMENT. I took a baby step back. All I have to do now is try again. As long as I just keep stepping out in faith and trying, I'm doing the right thing.

I hope everyone is having as amazing of a week as I am! :)

The Past Is Just That

I have been through the ringer in my relationships and marriages. I've not been a good partner in the past. I've even gone through time periods where I was not a good mother. I've done horrible things. Resounding theme for the last week has been, however, that the past is just that- the past. I cannot carry those bricks with me. I am not that person. I am in Christ now, a new creature. Old things are passed away and everything has become new. 

In just over a week I will be celebrating not only my 30th birthday but also marking a year of incredible change in my life. In this year, I've become sober and celibate. I've lost 50 lbs and 4 dress sizes. I've begun a closer walk with my Lord, gained clarity and deeper understanding of things and really just become NEW.

It's been worth the struggle, the tears, the pain... to get to this point. It's not over yet, by any means. If you are in what feels like a pressure cooker, a torture chamber, I really just want to encourage you to bear with it and keep going. There is a Light at the end of this tunnel. He's got this. ;)

Unstoppable by Nick Vujicic (an Inspiring Individual)

How could I NOT tie this book review in with my Inspiring Individuals series?!
(The previous ones are here and here.)
This is my first "official-they-sent-me-a-free-book-to-review" review. Ha. What made this so exciting for me is that I LOVE the book, am almost speechlessly excited and inspired and get to even tie this review in with another series! I'd say that gets me off to a good start on reviews. ;)

 I was somehow completely unaware this dude existed before I selected this book, to be honest. Apparently my mom has seen him speak on TV before and was excited when I showed her the book. Really, this book couldn't have made it's way to me at a better time.

This is actually Nick's second book. His first is titled Life without limits. 

There is just so much crammed into this small-ish paperback I could never completely cover it all so I'll just touch on a few things. 

The term "faith in action" sums up the beautiful lesson in the first section of the book. It's a resounding theme to the end as well. "Why me?" Come on, you know you've said that before. I know I have! My disability isn't seen on the outside. You wouldn't know if I didn't tell you but it's crippled my life at times. Those are the times I have cried out to God, asking "why me?". Why NOT me? What good has it done for my life? How can I put that ability into it and use it, allow God to show me the purpose? Man, I'm just so excited about the new revelations that have come to me through obedience last Sunday and now, reading this book.

You can read a sneak peek of the book here. Chapter one already had me re-examining myself. Good stuff, y'all!

Facebook  Book Trailer  More Info  Author Bio

Life Without Limbs website.

I received this book for free from Blogging for Books for this review.

Purpose

I'll start this off by admitting that I should have done a Transparent Tuesday post yesterday. For a good chunk of the day I was one cranky girl. I am happy to report, however, that it didn't last long. I didn't throw anything, turn into the Tasmanian Devil cartoon or make any permanent decisions while in that crabby state. (That's a HUGE difference from how I reacted to things only a year ago.)
Even though life threw a few lemons at me and tried to burst my bubble I was floating high in (see this post) I pulled out of it and had a wonderful evening last night and I am in a great mood today.
I received my first two books to review from publishers yesterday! If you are a blogger, you know what I'm talking about when I say that made me feel just a touch more "official". If you aren't a blogger or a social media influencer, please let me explain. I'm now signed up to receive books from certain publishers in exchange for an honest review on my blog and, in some cases, on other websites like Amazon or Goodreads. They ask you to be honest, not to just gush about loving the book only because you got it for free so that works quite well with my mission statement for this blog. Delivering my humble opinion to you, squarely. Fortunately for all involved, I am able to choose from a few selections of titles available for review so it is unlikely that I'll be sent something that is just absolutely unappealing to me. You can absolutely expect honest and non biased reviews on this blog, so I want you, as my reader, to be able to trust me to be authentic.
I started reading one of them last night and I'm having trouble putting it down for long. I took a break from the other books I am reading to try to get at least one of these review books finished quickly. I'm a bit of a speed reader so I'm pretty sure I'll be done with this one and reviewing it very, very soon. (As in, before tomorrow is out.) What I didn't know when I selected this title is how much it would speak to me in only the first few chapters and how relevant it would be to my life with anxiety and crippling fear. It just goes right along with every thing I am going through right now. I just really love it when things "connect up" like that.
I have a lot of things happening in my life right now that just seem to be like little puzzle pieces connecting. I have been for so long searching for pieces to fill my heart and to bring me contentment- but now that I have God all over that, He's put quite an amazing "puzzle mat" down to hold together all of the new pieces that are coming together.
Making Him the foundation of my happiness is the best thing I've ever done. :)

An Incredible Weekend Recap

I had an incredible, amazing, wonderful, fabulous weekend. My friends and family know that isn't something you would normally hear out of my mouth so, yes, it was indeed that great.
I'm not going to go into huge amounts of detail on some of it but there were some parts I felt I HAD to share on my blog.
I had really been dreading Valentine's Day (or what I was calling Singles Awareness Day) this year but had decided to go about it differently (you can read about that here, where I mentioned the month of praying for your future husband). It ended up being a wonderful day. I had breakfast with my mama and my daughter after waking my sweet princess up to give her gifts. I did pray throughout the day for whoever I was meant to spend the rest of my life with to be safe, make good choices, that he was in relationship with the Lord, among other things. I just stopped what I was doing and prayed about it every so often. I've never felt so productive in my life. <3
So, to touch on that "lovey-dovey" subject for just a minute I thought I'd just insert right here the little fact that I went on a date this weekend for the first time in over a year. I'm glad I waited. I wasn't ready six months ago and I definitely still wasn't ready one month ago. I don't even think I was ready two weeks ago. This weekend, I felt ready. I made a list just before Christmas of what I felt I wanted and needed in a partner. Things I really just didn't want to compromise. Standards, I suppose. I prayed about those standards, wrote them on paper and in my heart and said, "God, I know you'll bring this person to my life when and IF it is your will, not on my searching or time." and gave up the online profile scouring, asking friends to "hook me up" and decided to just stop feeling lonely and be content.
You know how "they" say "when you stop looking for it" or "when you stop trying"? ;)
Ya  know, it's too soon to tell for sure, of course and there are still some things going on that need to be finished up and worked out but... well, it's been an incredible weekend. ;)
I've really gone outside my "comfort zone" this weekend and THAT is where adventure and excitement lie waiting.

So, I have to tell you about the other really big, cool thing that happened this weekend. The church I go to has a ministry called Children of Promise. It's like children's church- for special needs students. I do believe it's the only one I've ever heard of and the only one in our immediate area, although I think it should be MUCH more widespread. I've kind of watched from a distance. Dabbing a tear of joy here and there, offering to do a super easy task at the fall festival, praying for the leaders and the families... but I haven't been obedient.
One Sunday back in the Fall, as they were being dismissed from service I felt this urge to stand up and follow. I fought that and didn't move. I mean, I've spent time with peers at school and friends' family members with Down's Syndrome or mild Autism but what did I really know about it all? What in the world could I do to help?
Cut paper plates, hot glue Noah's arks together and wash paintbrushes.
That's what I could do to help, it turns out.
Yesterday, as they were being dismissed I felt that urge to get up again. I told God (ha, told... noticed that huh?), I said, "I don't know what to do down there! What if they don't want my help? What if I do something wrong? I'm not equipped for this." I CLEARLY at that point heard the words, "Go. Obey. You don't have to know because I do." and the words of Joshua 1:9 came to mind. So I jumped outta my seat and took off. Which is normal for me but usually I'm running out of the church having a panic attack or feeling sick! This time, I felt on fire!!!
I'm glad I obeyed. I was blessed.
I was nervous for a few minutes, just not knowing how to help or what to do. I never felt afraid, just a little nervous that I didn't know how to help. So I observed. I mean, each wonderful person in that class is different with different needs, different talents, different personalities and different ways to soothe themselves and be calmed. I wanted to see their personalities.
Boy, did I! I'm just gonna be straight up real right here- if this young man with cerebral palsy is in church learning about God, praising him with song and painting... what's our excuse? If this beautiful and bright young boy with autism isn't afraid to get up in front of his church family and "Ta-Da!" show off his awareness shirt and help his mother speak about the ministry... what's our excuse?

I've NEVER felt more like I was sitting at Jesus' feet than I did as I sat on my knees at a small table hot gluing paper plate "arks" to beautifully painted cardboard waters. I felt like Martha and Mary met. It was all I could do to hold the tears in until I made it out to my truck in the parking lot. I was sobbing before my daughter and I pulled out on to the highway. The fullness I felt was overwhelming.

If you ever feel God telling you to do something, just do it. It might not make any sense to you or to anyone else. This weekend has been proof to me that the "rules", the "what-if's", the "I-can'ts" are useless wastes of breath. If HE says do it, you better do it. His rewards are too great for words to describe. :)

I was found guilty.... (FTSF Blog Hop)

Decided to jump in for the first time at the Finish The Sentence Friday Blog Hop. I'm loving that I'm finding link-ups and blog hops, not so much to just try to get my blog out there but because I'm finding *awesome* ladies to learn from and filling up my bloglovin' feed pretty quickly!

I was found guilty of... impatience.
I painted my nails today and immediately smudged them.
I've said, "hurry up!" to my daughter more times than I should have lately
I'm lonely and ready to date (with intention) and having a hard time "waiting". (although Cupid's arrow might be hitting me)
I watch the pot til it boils.
I always open the microwave door before it beeps.



Join the fun at: